


Being a diabetic is hard

by RPGwrites



Series: Pathfinder, Truthseeker [5]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Angst, Chronic Illness, Diabetic Ryder, F/M, Needles, Type 1 Diabetes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:28:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26612203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RPGwrites/pseuds/RPGwrites
Summary: Being a diabetic is part of Amber Ryder’s life. But when Jaal asks her what the hardest part is she goes back and think through her experiences as a diabetic.
Relationships: Jaal Ama Darav/Female Ryder | Sara
Series: Pathfinder, Truthseeker [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1544851
Comments: 6
Kudos: 8





	Being a diabetic is hard

**Author's Note:**

> Prompted by [ natsora ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/natsora/pseuds/natsora). Prompt: Hardest things about diabetes.

Jaal and Ryder were sitting on the couch at his loft. When he suddenly asked her a question. 

“What’s the hardest part?”

“Mmmh?” she asked. His words had pulled her from her thoughts. 

“Being a diabetic,” he clarified. 

She sighed as her mind wondered. That was a complicated question because she didn’t even know. 

Ryder disliked the needles. Having to shot herself day by day. It wasn’t the needles itself. She didn’t like them but she didn’t mind them either. But it was that she had to depend on something she couldn’t live without. 

Day by day she had to depend on something she didn’t want to. Something she needed it as much as the air she breathed. She hated the rules. 

Ryder felt like she was in a cage with a key or code that was thrown away. She missed the freedom. This illness has affected so much of her life. She hated not only that it affected her life but the people around her. 

Ryder hated the doctor visits. She used to not minding visits to Lexi, but since she developed diabetes, her visits have been filled with fear and anxiety. Knowing her sugar levels wasn't where it should be. 

Every time Lexi took blood she desperately hoped that everything was okay. That another organ didn't give up on her as her pancreas had. Or that something didn't work right because she couldn't keep her sugar levels where they should be. 

She hated the charts on her datapad showing the horrible consequences she could get. Knowing that each time her sugar went high there might be damage. Until one day she gets the bad news. 

Until one day she hears everything isn’t working as it should. And nobody would be blamed for it except for her. 

She hated the misconceptions people had over it. 

But if she was honest with herself, none of those was the hardest part. So she smiled at Jaal, finally knowing her answer. 

“The hardest part is not losing hope,” she said. But Jaal’s expression told her he didn’t understand so she continued. “Knowing that I can do better tomorrow.”

If she looks back at the last couple of months this was true in her case. All of the things she thought about had an influence. Keeping her hopes up was the hardest part of it all. 

Jaal hummed in response, “That makes sense. You have to keep trying.”

“Yes,” she answered with a nod. Ryder wanted to give up hope many times in the last few months. Things were hard and there were many factors. But each time she wanted to, Jaal was there. 

“Thank you,” she said suddenly.

“For what?”

“For never letting me give my hopes up,” and she squeezed his hand in the process. 

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to come and say hi on [ Tumblr ](https://rpgwarrior4824.tumblr.com/).


End file.
